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Address To A Haggis
1786
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon
them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace As lang's my arm
The groaning
trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need, While
thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead
His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready
sleight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like ony ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin,
rich!
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive: Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive, Till a' their
weel-swall'd kytes belyve, Are bent lyke drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, "Bethankit!" 'hums
Is
there that owre his French ragout Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi' perfect sconner, Looks
down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him ower his trash, As feckless as a wither'd
rash, His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit; Thro' bloody flood or field to dash, O how unfit!
But
mark the Rustic, haggis fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread. Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll mak it
whissle; An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned, Like taps o' thrissle
Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care, And
dish them out their bill o' fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her
gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis!

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